And Then There Were...?

Oh, hell...I can't even keep track anymore.

Yesterday I went skiing with a guy (no pseudonym required as I continue to have no desire to date this person) who I'd previously and semi-reluctantly had dinner with back in October (or was it November?). The autumnal date itself was fine but his wardrobe choice (Whistler logo emblazoned sweatshirt) and the complete absence of chemistry proved a lethal combination that even the most open mind and empty dance card at the time couldn't overcome.

While the two of us were knocking back a few slopeside beers yesterday, D (the SoCal based artist) called with word that he was presently in Idaho but would be back in my mid-sized town this weekend. To be honest, amidst the oddly-heightened dating activity of late and the recent demise of my thing with M2, I'd sorta forgotten all about D until he called yet again this afternoon while I was having coffee with J The Grad Student. D and I ended up having a fairly decent conversation a few hours later, at the end of which I honored his request to phone me again tomorrow. I see a cocktail or three in our future.

Upon returning home from the slopes last night, I was greeted by three notable emails. The first was from J confirming our plans for coffee today. Ultimately, it proved to be a pleasant enough outing and he was actually pretty cute for a big nerd. However, given the myriad other boy options currently in my midst, I don't think I'll see him again unless I decide to embrace the Sudoku craze. (Read: not likely.)

The second email was from M3, also confirming plans. More specifically, our long-awaited and much-talked-about January 2 first date. (You know, the "t-minus" one that I've been referring to now for what feels like months.) He's back from Hawaii and ready to mingle and is just as charming and witty and amusing as ever. Good god I can't wait until Monday. And funny thing? Neither can he.

The third email, much to my dismay, disheartenment, disillusionment, disenchantment and just about any other term that could serve as a suitable synonym for the wave of grave disappointment that washed over me as I read it, was from M2. Having grown weary of artfully dodging his love declarations for the past six weeks, we became history as of Wednesday. Or so I thought.

After receiving what I sincerely hope was a drunken phone call on Wednesday from one of his friends, followed by a convoluted text message from M2 the next day, it was apparent that he wasn't quite ready to give up the ghost. This was made abundantly clear via the email that M2 sent on Friday. I responded, making my best attempt to thoughtfully, kindly and sensitively-yet-officially close the book on our relationship...past, present and/or future.

It didn't sit so well.

This afternoon, reluctantly and rather hatefully accepting his fate, M2 sent a final missive. A hurtful, juvenile, immature and entirely-uncalled-for-outburst-from-a-man-of-36-years. Peppered gratuitously with the word "regret," it left no question in my mind that M2 was not, is not and will never be my destiny. The diamond necklace is soooo going back.

Which brings me to tonight.

Lack of sparks notwithstanding, and nevermind the fact that a stroke-of-midnight smooch -- obligatory or otherwise -- is pretty inevitable, I'm spending the evening at home with Z. We will drink excessively. I will terrorize him at Boggle. He will make me laugh and ridicule me for only reading non-fiction and watching too much tv. And we'll have a fabulous time mutually ringing in the New Year with one of the very few people who after having initially met online, doesn't make either of us want to gouge out our eyeballs with a plastic spoon. Or go gay.

2005 was hella crazy, yo. It brought extreme heights of emotion the likes of which I hope never to again experience yet somehow, if given the choice, I wouldn't have changed a thing. It brought new beginnings, sorrowful farewells and, ultimately, profound joy.

It also brought a tube of hickory-smoked summer sausage.

Cheers, y'all. To a happy, healthy '06.