Diagnosis

Frankly, I'm really not sure when it happened. Or who I caught it from. Or how long the condition will be present. Or if its contagious, or chronic, or if there's a cure. But somewhere between having my heart macerated this summer by K and being fully worked-over this fall by the hairless triathlete, I think I've turned into a grown-up.

Symptoms include but hopefully are not limited to:

1. Happening upon a boy who I really, really like.
2. Discovering in the process of date #1 that he not only has a girlfriend but that he lives with her.
3. Deciding somewhat against my better judgement to nonetheless engage in an ongoing email exchange with said boy...
4. ...and, thus, finding myself distracted by thoughts of him, like, pretty much all the time.
5. Yet somehow, remarkably, amazingly and entirely inconsistent with all of my prior boy-related behavior, summoning the strength and self-respect and presence of mind to decline opportunities to see him in person as they continue to present themselves.

Because I know better.

Because apparently I'm an adult who now makes smart choices.

When the hell did that happen?