I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me.

As of approximately 7:30am, my online dating profile has been re-hidden. Its just too torturous, not to mention one of the world's greatest wastes of my time ever, to engage in what amounts to a totally futile and generally rather pathetic tete-a-tete with boys who - due in part to the fact that M3 spilled 100% of the beans about us last night to his sister (whoa) - really stand very little chance of even receiving a response, let alone scoring a date with me. However, due to their moderate entertainment value, I'm happy to share a selection from last night's bounty. Enjoy, dear readers, enjoy.

From: wildsalmon
Date received: February 16
Subject: Fundraising?

I am never sure how this whole thing really works. I have a few friends that have met and actually married this way.
I was going to ask you for coffee sometime.
I was also going to ask you if you do the MS walk at [name of park removed] in April?
I'll be at home tonight if you want to chat.


From: sage494
Date received: February 16
Subject: hey

My name is Gary... I am from Calgary, Alberta... I really enjoyed your little profile, I am quite intrigued... You seem like a super sweet, cool lady and would really enjoy learning more about you! I have hidden my profile as I don't want my pictures all over the internet, but am willing to send you some photos and correspond elsewhere if you are interested... do you have a regular e-mail address? I am confident you will be pleasantly surprised... Look forward to hearing from you! Till then, have an awesome evening...


From: bbmcob
Date received: February 16
Subject: Hey

Well I am funny, I can Intrigue you (making you think) and I love dogs!!
Drop me a line sometime if your interested.
Have a great day!


From: jag_31
Date received: February 16
Subject: hi there

I noticed your profile tonight. How are you? Do you snowboard or ski ? keep smiling